Friday, May 8, 2009

Starting Over Again ...

The past few months have been nothing short of life-changing for me. There were fantastic changes, like giving life to a beautiful baby boy. And there were not so good changes like losing my job and the recent death of my grandmother - a woman I now realize I thought I knew, even judged at times, but probably didn't know a damn thing about her really. All these changes - a thousand more little ones too - have combined to slow me down and I haven't had the time, energy or creativity to continue writing. Add to that the rejection of a manuscript I am really proud of and you could say I dropped out of what I love doing. But now I think I am ready to come back. But there are some hurdles with that. 

The first - I am a different person than I was six months ago. My world view has been altered over the course of a few short months (although let me tell you, those first three felt like a LIFETIME. I don't remember Christmas ... or New Years ... or January ...). So returning to an old manuscript, I see it with completely different eyes. I don't like what I see in most spots. 

Secondly - Time: I don't have it. I've been robbed. Well, been robbed of long stretches of time. For now I have perhaps 20-45 minutes at a time to sit down and just think, let alone write. This forces me to work quickly and I don't work well under pressure.

Third - I've been out of the romance writing loop for awhile and it seems like in the time I was gone, publishing took a completely different turn. Perhaps I am wrong but I feel as though (from just a few days of surfing my favorite sites) romance has turned from historicals and veered directly toward contemporaries. Bummer for me since I have several half finished historical novels going on. 

All this combined means I have to completely re-invent myself and my writing style. So welcome back to me, now start all over lady.

1 comment:

Keli Gwyn said...

Emily,

I feel for you. Having a baby or losing a loved one is tough, but both at once. Yikes.

I hope you can rejoice in the new person you are, one who's no doubt stronger and more sensitive. Those traits can spill over into your characters, which is a good thing.

Can't help you on the time angle except to say that we have to carve time for our dreams. You're worth it.

Re: trends. Don't worry about them. They vary all the time. Write what's on your heart and trust that the right agent and editor will want your story no matter what the mysterious "they" say is selling. For what it's worth, I just shelved a contemporary and returned to my historicals, which is where my heart is.